A life with no sorrows.

The most saddening kind of love is love that you thought was there but wasn't really. Yes, I still do think of how my relationships all played out. Every single one of them, because frankly it's very tiring emotionally, im giving up. I'm not giving up on myself though. I smell a bright future, without you in it.

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Heartfelt.

Life has a way of killing itself, somehow you just die inside. Causing you to feel as though, your whole world has broken into tiny million pieces and you look at people less fortunate then you and think what the hell are you being a big baby about? Your life compared to them... = far better. I'd think twice about complaining about things I have in life, be it with love or anything else. Material possessions and what nots. You just can't help think sometimes, if life was simple, no problems, no competition, you just did what you had to do to stay alive. Would it be a better place then? I'm up at 7:42am thinking about what i've done wrong, bad decisions I've made and are still making, the failure i'm going to become, if I don't step up and be the man for once in my life, stop trying to let things happen on its own. Who am I kidding? Nothing will ever just drop from the sky, let alone into my hands. I have to work on it, even if it takes every waking minute of my life. I don't want to suffer, who does? and at the position i'm in right now, I'm hell as am going to suffer. No point talking about it, because frankly, no matter how much I say or write about. It isn't going to make the slightest difference. I really need to get everything together and study. Now its the most important thing, and for enjoyment, concentrate on just that and my bike license. Hope it gets better, but not going to expect unless I really change my whole mentality about my education!

Goodnight.

Different walks of life.

In life, you'll come across many different people. Some more unlucky than you. In terms of life, love and money. Some are born without a house, without food and shelter. It gets me thinking, thinking reallll hard about my own life. How lucky I am. To have such a privileged life, which some don't even smell as much as they work. I think to myself, whether I deserve all of this, I did nothing to achieve this so why am I so lucky? I see too many people unprivileged and not being able to enjoy life whereas I? I take almost everything for granted, I feel to a huge extent that its my responsibility to appreciate the things I have and not want more. But isn't that human beings for you? We are put on earth to develop man-kind, to make our lives better. So is it wrong to strive for more? Things like poverty and disadvantages peaks my interest. How can it get better for them? What does this people have to do in order to be happy and contented with their lives? Can we do nothing, but sit around and let this slide?

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Busy bee

I'm most happiest on my busiest days.. Why? Simply because I'll have no time to eat! He he he tomorrow's gonna be such a long long day in school plus tuition at night which is going to drain the life source out of me! Plus Thursday's the same as well... Which means, another day to lose weight! I'm lying in my bed now, thinking of what my plans are for Friday, hopefully drinks with my ex classmates at Clarke Quay! Long awaited meeting! It's 3:21am now, and I'm still not asleep, my timing's all screwed hah! Good news is I finished up my photobooth post at my other blog...

I'm gonna try and make it back before tuition so I can go exercise! Life cannot get any better :)

Goodnight everybody~ <3
with lots and lots of love.. Sarah.


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Had an oh so awesome day with the girlies! It's been such a long long time, am on the way home now on the train, had to run up the escalator to catch the last train! Good god, so tired!!!! Can't wait to go home and shower and blog, what a productive day as well, with studying and catching up on gossip teehee. Will be continued at my other blog! Bye now~

Oh just for the record, I ate maybe 5 spoonfuls of spaghetti, half teriyaki rice and 1 tamago sushi! For the whole day! Am so happy for myself :) plus I got a chance to exercise while me, cam and Sonya were doing crazy webcam videos hahahahahaha so cute! Love them so much <3


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Shuffle shuffle shuffle

Party rock is in the house tonight,

EVERYDAY IM SHUFFLING! hell yeaaaaa!


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What to wear!

Hahaha im not sure what to wear for school tomorrow. :( dilemma I face every single day, on the bright side, I'm down a kg. Like 12 more! Hopefully study at starbucks tomorrow and jogging in the evening and drinks at night with my girlfriends~ heeheehee

Have a gooooodnight everybody ;) I have the urge to dance the night away y'all... <3

Spaghetti me up!

So my mum cooked spaghetti for the whole family today, and i helped out... but now am extremely exhausted, and to add on to my misery I have yet to exercise! Plus, I have school tomorrow and its in the morning! Oh well, at least I have more time to concentrate on it..

Goodnight! <3

Diet Diet Bye Bye Fats.

I finally am determined to lose my weight, even more then before. Though I still have a soft spot for tomyum, am cutting down way more carbs + fats! Very happy with the amount of determination in me.. Plus I've been taking pills for my skin and its improving! Next stop will be my teeth, invisilign!!!(sp?)

irrational thoughts.

I'm saying things I don't want to say, and feel things, I don't want to feel. I'm in a bad place in my life right now... but isn't everybody? Secretly? Everybody always seem to want more, never happy with what they have and.. when its gone, then they start to think about it. Why...? So complex, so irrational, the human mind. Then again, what pushes us to move forward, is the desire to want more, the desire to strive for better standards. Is it wrong? Is it wrong to want something, enough to do unthinkable acts for? Well, that is something, everyone, young and old. Must figure out...

Everybody's hiding something.

Everybody has a secret, something they want to hide from others... but.... I don't believe in lying to your other half, at all. Sometimes I wonder whether my other half, tell white lies to make me feel better... do you feel that way too? Do we live each day wondering whether our partner lies? We continue believing, even though you know its not working out, and we choose to let our dignity and suffering continue just because we're all naturally afraid, afraid to lose something that we think is 'valuable' but is causing more sadness then happiness.

Me saying all this, does not mean I am not happy in my relationship, honestly, i've never been happier. Its just that sometimes, you have to stop and think about aspects of the relationship. I have always believed that a couple should show intimacy, as and when they like. Being in a relationship can be rough, however when the couple can see past all that and still be 'romantically involved', and when I mean 'involved', I mean that they're in a world of their own, they are oblivious to people around them, they show affection and not care what others think. Okay.. maybe a couple making out at public places pushes the line, but if they hug and kiss, we should give them a break? I know being single is tough, and some may find it as easy as ABC, but take it from someone who's been single 18 years of her life, being single is tough, especially if your an obese pig such as myself. It seems that every single guy I take interest to, keep running away.... Call it a sign, I call it the 'First Impressions Always Matter' . In this society we're living in, 90 percent of the population lives in self-denial. The 10 percent are those who are brain dead and psychically and mentally unable to think. Do I fall under that 10 percent? Definitely not... Unless you consider me brainless... Then a possibility. Comes back to my point of relationships, people nowadays they give up very easily, they don't tolerate each other and when it gets tough, they raise the issue of breaking up. Which comes to my next point...

When is enough?

Well, I can't really say when a couple should break up, but I do know that breaking up over trivial matters such as forgetting to do something, or just feeling like a bitch one fine morning, is stupid and foolish. A girl will meet her fair share of 'assholes' (pardon my french), but i'm sure she will find her Mr Right.. If she waits long enough. For me, being in a relationship has opened my eyes to many different things, especially teaching me to love and care about someone way beyond my imagination. Feeling such a surrey of feelings just gushing through your veins. Kisses seem to be like fireworks, and hugs feel like warm sunshine. Affection becomes your euphoria. I love my other half, and I hope he feels the same way too.

The fat diaries.

I look in the mirror and realized how fat I was. The no self-confidence in me has risen to an all time high. Then I kinda thought to myself for a moment, what's the use of feeling pity for myself when I can do something about it. And so, right now. Am determined to slim down and boost my self-confidence. Then it's me against the world! Whooooopie :)

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Why so serious?

Tomorrow hopefully I get the chance to cook for my boyfie for the first time, and I really hope he enjoys it! I'm not the best cook in the world but I really want to be the one cooking for the person that I love. I can't wait to hug him and I don't think I would let go for a long time. I love and miss him. I hope he does too. ♥♥


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Office people.

I thought that working in the office would be such a prestigious thing, wearing 'semi-formal' attire and carrying black uniform bags. Well, in fact, they are no where near prestigious. They are one of the most selfish, obnoxious and self-absorbent people i have met. But if you think about it, office people are made up of many different types people, but aren't they suppose to be the educated ones? The ones that know that reserving seats at a hawker centre with tissue paper is a highly selfish act. Are smart people really becoming the new dumb? Was extremely disappointed, they are who I look up to, people who I hope to become one day, but I guess now, I don't anymore.


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Life suxs2thecore

I'm in one of those moods where I know it won't end up well. My life is stuck in a rut, I'm a girl without any qualifications, I don't wanna study, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm totally undetermined. Yup screw me over now, :(

At least I have the boyfie, don't know what I'll do without him, he's like my pillar of strength every time I wanna give up.

I love him so so much.

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Open your eyes, and you shall see.

Today, I really truly deep down inside knew how much I truly truly love my boyfriend, so much that I will never make the same mistake I did today. I won't say of course what happened, but I know now, that I will do anything to keep this darling of mine by my side. Love is really a very strange emotion, it may not even be considered as an emotion. However, I now know what love really is, the feeling of not wanting to leave that person for even just a second. The feeling of being crushed when the slightest hint of the B word is brought up. The feeling of not being able to live without him. A quote that I really look up to: "a relationship is not based on how much you can live with the person but how much you can't live without". And I knew today that I didn't want to live without the best thing that has come into my life, the only person that can make me feel the happiest. I love him so much, and sometimes without a doubt, I ask myself, if he feels the same way?and I know the answer straight away. That's why I love my boyfriend so much. He compromises without consciously knowing that he's actually giving in to me all the time, I'm just too self-centered to know what's going on. No amount of words can really express how different it feels now, after talking to each other about the things we didn't like of each other. Right now I just feel like getting away on a holiday with my sweetheart, away from the noise and everything and just enjoy each other's company. You know it's those nights when you just want to stay at home and cuddle in bed with your baby. If your reading this sweetheart, I want you to know that your the most important person to me, and I will try my very best, no. I will become a better person. I love you so much. I miss you, can't wait to kiss you and hug you so tight next time I see you and no promises that I will let go of you!



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When i'm kissing you.

sparks fly it's like electricity
i might die, when i forget how to breath
you get closer and there's no where in this world i'd rather be
time stops like everything around me is frozen
and that the night is the theives
few moments when you open my mind to things i've never seen

cuz when i'm kissing you my senses come alive
almost like the puzzel piece i've been trying to find
falls right into place you're all that it takes
my doubts fade away when i'm kissing you
when i'm kissing you it all starts making sense
and all the questions i've been asking in my head
like are you the one should i really trust
crystal clear it becomes when i'm kissing you

past loves they never got very far
walls up make sure i guarded my heart
and i promise i wouldn't do this
till i knew it was right for me
but no one, no guy that i met before
could make me feel so right and secure
and have you noticed i loose my focus
and the world around me disapears

cuz when i'm kissing you my senses come alive
almost like the puzzel piece i've been trying to find
falls right into place you're all that it takes
my doubts fade away when i'm kissing you
when i'm kissing you it all starts making sense
and all the questions i've been asking in my head
like are you the one should i really trust
crystal clear it becomes when i'm kissing you

i've never felt nothing like this
you're making me open up
no point in even trying to fight this
it kinda feels like it's loveee

cuz when i'm kissing you my senses come alive
almost like the puzzel piece i've been trying to find
falls right into place you're all that it takes
my doubts fade away when i'm kissing you
when i'm kissing you it all starts making sense
and all the questions i've been asking in my head
like are you the one should i really trust
crystal clear it becomes when i'm kissing you

Pictures of you, pictures of me.

Such a beautiful song, and a soulful melody. Can't stop humming to this tune! Gets me thinking though.

This is the clock upon the wall

This is the story of us all

This is the first sound of a newborn child,

Before he starts to crawl

This is the war that's never won

This is a soldier and his gun

This is the mother waiting by the phone,

Praying for her son

[Chorus]

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung upon your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all

Blocked by the governmental wall

We are the scientists inside the lab,

Just waiting for the call

This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside

I'm high up and dry

Pictures of you,pictures of me

Hung upon your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you,pictures of me

Reminds us all of what we used to be

[Chorus]

Confess to me, every secret moment

Every stolen promise you believed

Confess to me, all that lies between us

All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring

We are the bells that never sing

There is a title we can't win no matter

How hard we might swing

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung upon your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we could have been

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung upon your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we could have been

Could have been (x2)

We could have been (x2)

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we could have been

Could have been (x2)

No words can describe how much I love you.

You are so good to me, and I really love you for that :) from the bottom of my heart baby. Goodnight & sweetdreams! ~
♡♡♡

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Messed up s***

I feel pretty messed up, my mood has not been very good. Maybe it's cause I'm so tired all the time, don't get enough rest anymore these days, it's always work work work. I'm kinda scared because if this is just the beginning, then how long will I have to stay till the end? Well, I have so many people secretly supporting me and that is probably the only thing that is keeping me going strong. If not for them, I would already be giving up completely. I think another reason why I feel so damn shitty, is because I'm gaining tons of weight and no matter what my stomach and brain can't seem to control the amount of food I eat. Oh god, what if i end up obese on a couch eating my Mac and cheese and shouting at my maid telling her to bring me more food?!?! I hope it won't ever happen :( I feel horrible, don't get to wear nice clothes, go swimming and my pregnant stomach isn't doing much justice for me! Sighhhhhhh why can't we eat but not put on weight, maybe I need to go to the beach and unwind a bit. Maybe that's what I will do. Goodnight.

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Legally 18

5th January 2011
Just a day ago, I had my 18th birthday. It was at Sentosa and one of the more memorable birthdays I had. Almost all the people close to me were there and we not only ate, but drank, laughed and did random things. What a great way to start the new year, and it feels great being the first few turning 18! Well, of course as an 18 year old, great possibilities appear and countless opportunities start appearing right in front of you, example, I can drink freely, go to clubs and finally "become" an adult. My parents are definitely giving more freedom and space now that I'm an "adult". I feel absolutely delighted that I'm finally 18 and I can do almost everything I like to do. Received many beautiful presents and alcohol! I had so much fun.

6th January 2011
We celebrated Den's birthday and he suggested that we head to carnivore for a small celebration! It was splendid and we were so full after the dinner, they kept coming out with food and we just kept stuffing our faces, meat dish after meat dish. It was a feast fit for a king! Although it was a bit pricey, I think it was worth the money! We then went to Clarke Quay and walked around, and seeing that darrell was wearing slippers, we couldn't go into the clubs and the best place we could go was the small bars that opened along Clarke Quay. Well, finally got to drink my "sex on the beach" and it was oh so good, I just love cocktails and the feelings just awesome. Came back and my bb came with Sean, headed to Changi Village to have nasi lemak, and yes your probably thinking, man this girl can eat! Came back immediately after that, I miss my baby boy already :( just wanna cuddle in the sheets now and fall asleep with him!

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